Dear past self,
Do you understand that the people who love you and care about you won’t go away? You can not push people away–if they do go away they shouldn’t have been there in the first place. Trust me the people who matter won’t go away. Do you understand that isolating yourself will not solve your problems or make your issues go away? It will leave you alone with your problems and they will get worse because you are alone. Do you think you are alone in this world? Just because your goal is to make everyone go away doesn’t mean you are alone. You are not alone and you need to open your eyes and see that you have so many great things surrounding you. Do you think you deserve what is happening to you? You do not. Bad things sometimes happen to people. Don’t let this one thing define you and don’t allow yourself to give up. You are going to struggle with this for the rest of your life but that’s okay because even though it doesn’t define you it makes you who you are and who you will be. You will be amazing. Sometimes things happen or we meet people that we wish we never met but god wouldn’t put them on your path if it wasn’t for a reason. You had to meet this person even if it wasn’t good for you and these things had to happen to you even if they shouldn’t have. Things happen for a reason even if you got hurt in the process and even if you aren’t ever going to be the same because of it. You won’t see this any time soon but you will be a better person than you ever could have been if this didn’t happen to you. You can use your struggles as strength and courage in the future. One day you will be at peace with this and you will have a better outlook on life but it is going to take time. Let time heal you and take one day at a time. Right now please don’t hate yourself. It’s not worth it. That means the enemy wins. That’s what the enemy wants. He wants you to feel worthless but you are not. You have the power to do anything. 9 years from now you will be unstoppable and you will be doing and achieving everything you’ve ever dreamed of. You will win and this will be an after thought. Some days you will still struggle but you will not let it knock you down. You will fight through it and you will keep moving forward living a life you love. You will look back and say the struggles were worth it because they led you to the happiness you now have.
Your present self