As everyone probably knows I couldn’t run at nationals. This is what I consider to be a bad situation–or as I said yesterday “life is a b**** sometimes”. I’m not denying this. I was/am really upset. No one who worked really hard for
a year2 years toward a goal(because I wasn’t able to race last year either) enjoys being on the receiving side of bad luck or Murphy’s law. I apologize for sulking, being mad, sad, upset, unreasonable, and miserable the past few days. Mother, I’m sorry that you think I hate you–I do not. I understand that you are probably just as angry at this situation as I am and that you probably want to “fix” it. I appreciate that but you can’t fix it no matter how hard you try–I wish you could. Let’s hope and pray someone can fix it. My life would be so much easier if I could just call my parents to fix things like when I was a child.
I’m tired of being upset about this. A wise man once said “It is what it is”. I didn’t run at nationals last year. I didn’t run at nationals this year. I can’t run at the moment. I can’t change any of these things. I can however look forward. Soooo……I’ll be 3x as prepared to run xc nationals next year since I haven’t ran xc nationals since 2012. And if for some unforeseen reason I can’t run the race next year then I’ll just be 4x as prepared in 2016. Don’t get me wrong–I am in no way happy about this. I’m simply trying to keep my glass half full. I also bought myself a gift today.
A cat necklace. Cats make me happy and I think I needed something to cheer me up and make me less upset that I could not race. This did help. Phil also helped. He knows how much I wanted to race, how hard I’ve worked, how many windy, cold, rainy, late night workouts I’ve done to prepare and he just let me talk about this for a good 45 minutes to an hour last night and simply just listened. I appreciate that. Sometimes people don’t need advice or solutions, they just need a person to rely on and listen to them. I’m lucky that I have Phil and that I have a lot of other supportive people in my life. I have great friends, a great family, and great teammates.
I can’t control this but I can control how I respond to it. Here is my response: somehow, someday, someway things will be better. Somehow, someday, someway I’ll run the race of my life at the right time. Somehow, someday, someway I will wake up feeling 100% healthy everyday thereafter.