The internet defines a grudge as “a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury.” I define a grudge as the decision not to forgive someone or forget something. It is difficult to forget things when they have impacted your life so profoundly because bad things can impact your life just as much as good things. I believe this is where “grudging” comes into play. Those profound negative events can cause pain and bitterness making them really challenging to get over.
SOOOOO…….What if you could only have 3 simultaneous grudges for the rest of your life and you had to let everything else go? Where would you start and what would you have to let go? This is an idea that I recently came up with and I call it THE GRUDGE LIST.
I started by thinking about EVERYTHING I have ever been mad/angry/hurt/upset about and all of the reasons I can’t let these things go. Then I decided that I was only allowed to be upset with 3 of these things and this would become my grudge list. This was challenging and what actually happened was that I couldn’t justify choosing some of these things over others, so I decided to let A LOT of things go with the exception of 3 grudges. I made a decision to move on from more grudges than I care to admit that I was holding. If for some reason I get upset or mad at something or someone else in the future I will have to decide if it is worth replacing one of my 3 current grudges. Chances are it won’t be and I’ll have to let it go.
The reason I like the concept of this grudge list is because it stops me from carrying around unnecessary anger and hatred and it keeps me focused on the positive things. It is impossible to eliminate all of the things that have ever hurt us or caused us to forge a grudge in the first place, but it is possible that most of them could be considered minute in the grand scheme of things.
Incase you are wondering what is on my grudge list……
- Dunking Donuts for upsetting me on 2 separate occasions. I take my coffee very seriously!
- Myself for not coming up with this idea sooner!
- #3 is too serious to share online