Home is on the horizon

My time in California is rapidly coming to an end. I will be flying back home on Friday. I haven’t been able to sit down and blog as often as I would have liked, but I’ve spent a lot of time writing written letters that I’ve sent home to family and friends.

Being away from home has not been easy & I’m pretty sure I shared this in a previous post. I am happy to be going home this Friday afternoon, but I can’t help feeling sad at the same time. I know that when I go home things will be slightly different. Time changes things no matter how much we think it won’t. I already know that the brick oven pizza place in my town opened while I was gone, I am pretty sure a new store opened too, and I know that we now have a bird feeder at our house. My beloved car has been fixed and my Altra Torin’s have a hole in them so a new pair will be waiting for me when I return to New Jersey. All of these things are good but it is difficult to grasp the concept that life at home exists without me. Knowing that I’ve missed so many things at home has gotten me down at least once a day while I’ve been away and this is probably the main source of the homesickness I have been struggling with. I selfishly don’t like knowing that my world at home can function without me. It would have been nice for time at home to stand still while I was away, but I know that was an impossibility. Because of this, I am overjoyed to return home to my cats and family and friends, my normal running routes and groups, my small town and local coffee shop, and the east coast where the leaves are about to fall and decorate the ground for cross country season.

Despite missing home, I’ve have had a really unique experience while I’ve been in California. I will never forget the time I spent here with my new friends and all of the things I’ve done that I never even imagined I would do.  I’ve had the opportunity to sit in classes with my peers, complete an internship that has impacted my life in too many ways to count, and I haven’t once had to explain what sport psychology is because everyone here knows. Looking back at where I was the day I got here and where I am right now I can’t imagine what it would have been like if I didn’t come out here this summer. As much as I want to go home, I wish I could stay because I don’t want this experience to end.

This has been an emotional experience. If you don’t believe me visit the UPS store where I had a meltdown this weekend when they said it would cost me $108 to ship my posters home or $40+ for a box! This was the one thing that caused me to loose my mind. I was upset about the thought of throwing away the posters because I feel like they symbolize this experience. It had nothing to do with the amount of work I put into them, which was several hours, and everything to do with the fact that my posters helped me find confidence in what I came here to do and they (to me) are symbolic of the risks I have taken. I don’t typically share my creative side with complete strangers unless it is on my blog, which I don’t usually talk about in real life, so it was difficult to make and share these during my internship. The whole internship was a growing experience for me both personally and professionally and I didn’t want to loose that by tossing my sequin covered posters in a dumpster.

Eventually, after crying in the street outside of the UPS store, I decided to cover them with Safeway bags and attempt to check them on the plane with my luggage. I even added handles! I’ll keep the internet informed about whether or not they make it back to NJ in one piece….

If they make it back in tact (yes, I rhymed on purpose) I’ll have found the ultimate loophole.

It’s going to be hard to say to my new friends but I have a feeling that our paths will cross again in the future!