Last Sunday I went for a long run with Lyndsey. It felt like the longest long run I’ve ever done even though it was only 12 miles long. I felt horrible physically and my mindset, over the last month, has shifted from feeling satisfied with running to dreading all of my runs because the pain and suffering that running has been causing me has been overwhelming, but still (almost) everyday I put my shoes on and head out to run with an optimistic outlook except on the days when I don’t run and I have an optimistic outlook about how taking a rest day, or two, or three will benefit me when I do run again.
When I was in California running was going great until the last week and a half of my trip when I started to feel sluggish and my legs started to feel like they were bolted to the ground. When I got home my compartment syndrome flared up and I continued to feel sluggish. My runs went from bad to terrible to what I imagine it would feel like to run through Hell because I felt terrible and because it was super hot. I took a week off from running and thought that would help. It didn’t help.
Now here I am ending another week of barely running and getting over a stomach bug, which hasn’t helped things with running improve either.
I am trying not to dwell on my current running struggles, but I do hope that things improve soon. Tomorrow is a new day and a new training week. Hopefully my feet won’t be numb, I won’t throw up, I won’t get dehydrated, I won’t feel sluggish, and I won’t end up sitting in ice.
I am glad that I am no longer the type of person who defines herself only by her sport. I have a lot of other things that interest me and a lot of other things that are important to me. I love running but not running well hasn’t been catastrophic and that shows a great deal of personal growth. I suppose that is the bright spot in all of this frustration.