19 days to go

It is frustrating when things aren’t going well, when your life feels like a mess, or when you are faced with challenges that aren’t easy to explain on a blog, or even to the people you see every day. This is how my life has been. This is how running has been. Amidst the stress, frustration, and struggles I have been facing lately I am doing my best to focus on the good things and the things that I CAN control. I can only control what I do, how I feel, and how I react to the things I am dealing with. Right now the way I am dealing with things is by putting my own needs first.

Running hasn’t been going well since the middle of August. I’ve had some health issues, nothing major, but still things that were significant enough to disrupt training for the Philadelphia Marathon. Even though both the quality and quantity of my runs has diminished, I was able to run 20 miles 2x thanks to Hollie and Lyndsey. I wouldn’t have gotten through these runs alone. These runs have helped me feel confident going into the marathon even though my training has been horrendous. I know I’ll be able to finish the marathon even if I don’t run as well as I had originally hoped to. At this point I just want to get through it and take some time away from running so I can recover. The days leading up to this race are stressful because I don’t feel prepared and I don’t feel excited by it. My motivation to run is low because I haven’t felt good running, but I signed up for the marathon so I am going to run it. At this point I just have to prove to myself that I can still do this. It’s mental. I need to run and finish this race so that I am mentally prepared to start training again in 2017.

Things fall apart sometimes, like leaves fall from trees, but that can be beautiful.

Maybe my marathon training plan falling apart will produce something beautiful too….