Switching my focus

“If you want something, work for it. Don’t give up on your dreams. Make your own reality. Anything you desire you can have if you never give up”.

I’ve heard these cliche catch phrases the majority of my life and I believe that they are powerfully true, however there are times that no matter what we do the success we are craving and diligently working towards does not come our way, there are times that our dreams do not come true, and there are times that we want to give up because every pursuit ends in failure even when we do E V E R Y T H I N G right. I’ve said before that failure is temporary, and I know that part of escaping that feeling of failure is having patience.  I am not a patient person and I won’t even pretend to be for a second.

Making your own reality could take a decade, working toward a goal can take everything you have, never giving up can mean waiting an eternity for your dreams to come true, and you can feel defeated constantly. Lately, I’ve had to accept that doing everything right, taking risks, and then endlessly waiting is my reality. It seems like the things I desire the most are the things that will test my patience the most. I try to create the reality that I want, I get excited, I see possibility, I feel very hopeful and then somehow, someway that hope is always shattered when the universe snatches the opportunity I am creating away–and I did not understand why this kept happening over and over again. I’ve been frustrated and I’ve been wondering if it is even worth continuing to pursue these dreams, but beneath the frustration I know it is.

In retrospect we can always see why things did not work out the way we wanted them to, but when you are living those moments of constant disappointment and perpetual defeat you just can’t see things clearly. Everything is foggy and nothing makes sense. Right now I am just waiting and continuing to do everything that I can do to reach my non-running goals even if it takes an eternity. I am learning to be patient. I am learning to have faith and I am learning to let that faith guide me even if it means switching my focus for a little while.

I’ve wanted to train for a marathon for a while now, and I’ve wanted to aim for a huge PR. For a variety of reasons training for a marathon did not work out before, and now it seems like everything else I am trying to pursue is ending up to be a completely frustrating disaster, but my motivation to run is high and I seem to have an abundance of free time these days. I feel like this is a sign and what I am meant to do right now. Changing my focus will be good. I can’t wait to share more about marathon training soon!