Optimistic outlooks

How I got here

Sometimes its so easy to see what is happening or what is going to happen–we have a heightened sense or a new found psychic ability. Other times, we are blindsided by totally unpredictable things–things we would never have imagined happening…Ever. I often find myself reflecting on the things that have happened that weren’t predictable and I try to find inner piece with them. I am sitting here right now, today, and I am totally amazed that I am here–it is incredible that I am sitting here in this very place at this very moment. I would have never predicted it. I have talked a lot about my desire to study sport psychology and how I discovered that it was my fate at age 16, I have also mentioned that it took me 11 years to actually meet my fate. I never really explained why that happened. Its strange but I feel like sharing that today. So here is my story of how I met my inevitable fate even though I took a different road: 

After high school I went to community college to save money and because the college board lost my SAT scores. I started working for a company part time and I ran xc and track.  I then transferred to a local university and continued to live at home with my parents after much debate and considering other options. I continued working for the same company and I continued running at the university. I majored in psychology and minored in anthropology. During my senior year my boss put me in a management training program. I set an irrational, unrealistic goal of being employed full time by June 1, 2009, just a few weeks after I graduated from college. Because I was in that management training program, that boss was able to promote me and I achieved my goal of having a full time job by June 1st. Just before I graduated I had an instructor tell me that I would never get into graduate school for psychology because I only had a 3.1 GPA and not a 4.0. Since that destroyed me and I had a job set up, I decided to throw my application to graduate school for sport psychology in the trash. I then applied for graduate school to study Human Resource Development and planned to say with my company long term and eventually work in corporate HR. In November of 2010 I was promoted again and then in January of 2011 my boss, who was my mentor and the reason I wanted to stay with the company, suddenly passed away. Work became unbearable and I could no longer stand going to work–it was too difficult for me. I was completely and totally miserable. I do not handle things properly, especially death. I often avoid this stuff and internalize all of my feelings. For the next nine months I applied to all kinds of jobs. I wanted any out I could find because I couldn’t stand working there anymore. I hated it because my boss was gone. Then I became mad at myself for not actually doing what I wanted to in the first place. By September of 2011 I finished my graduate program and applied to a corporate job. I got an interview but I was denied the job. A few weeks later, out of nowhere, I received a call to go back and work at the community college I went to. Without hesitation I said, “YES!” That May my college coach offered me an assistant coaching job, again out of nowhere. So I took it. This got me thinking about how I threw my application for a sport psychology graduate program in the garbage just a few years prior. I always had a strong interest in coaching and I knew there was a reason I was suddenly given this opportunity. As time went on I started researching graduate school again and doing all that I could to become the kind of coach that can help athletes reach their potential. As a college athlete I made a lot of mistakes and I never believed in myself so I wanted to do my best to prevent any athlete I worked with from feeling regretful or unsatisfied with their own college experience. Eventually, this made me feel regretful and unsatisfied because I never did what I should have done so I researched the program I wanted to do back in 2009. It was now offered online and fit my schedule perfectly. Coincidence, no. Fate, yes! I thought this through for a few days and then I applied. Simultaneously, I received a gift from several athletes. It was hand written letters in a photo book. This reaffirmed my decision to try to go back to school and when I got accepted it was a done deal. Becoming a coach pushed me to do this. Loosing my boss and desiring a new job caused me to take the offer for the job I have now which put me in the correct place to be offered the coaching job. Being discouraged by that instructor caused me to stay with my company, which caused me to take the job offer, which led me to coaching. Staying local for college led me to all of that, which led me here where I wanted to be anyway. Being here now is way better!  I believe I am meant to be here now. I don’t just want to be here, I believe I’ve met my destiny and that is an indescribable feeling. So whenever you can’t seem to figure out why you are where you are, remember it is because you aren’t meant to meet destiny or fate just yet. Sometimes you  have to take “the road less run” in order to meet them. If other things didn’t get in the way would my fate still be the same ?–I’ll never know. 

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